Reflecting...
It's almost a new year. I think naturally we all kind of reflect on the past year. Reminisce about good memories. Curse the bad ones. I have found this past year to be one of renewal for me. Renewal of my mental and emotional health, the beginning stages of renewal of my physical health (this is a tough one for me, but I'm working on it), and most of all renewal of my faith and commitment to God. After searching for a church for over 5 years, I knew the first time I stepped foot into this one that it is where God has called me. I've also been called into my dream ministry of leading worship. Almost nothing makes me happier than using my voice to point people to Christ. There's no more beautiful sound than taking my earpiece out (which is a no-no, but sometimes I do it anyway) and hearing the congregation sing their hearts out too. When I do that, I can almost never hold back tears. It's so powerful. It's so beautiful. It's my favorite. Also being a part of this band has given me a new village of Jesus loving people who hold each other up in hard times, and celebrate with each other in good times. These people have welcomed me into their family, and for that I will forever be grateful.
This year has been one of change for my family. Madison turned 18 and graduated from high school. Our relationship is changing every day from a parent/child relationship to a parent-of-an-adult relationship. That's been quite a ride. Parenting adults is no joke, guys! It's not easy. You worry even more than you did when they were little, but you have no control over any of it. She and I are either the absolute best of friends, or I'm Satan himself sent to destroy her life. Carter competed in (and CRUSHED) his first World Kuk Sool Won tournament. He now towers over me and is in his last year of middle school. His voice is changing. His friends are changing. His interests are changing. Everything feels like it's changing. We traveled to St. Louis, Chicago and Galveston this year. We've made so many memories. Too many to list. I was able to spend some time with cousins from out of state who I see so rarely. What a blessing!
This year has most definitely had it's hardships too. I've written about some of them. Some of them are more personal. But what I've found is that I have a peace within me, even in these times. A peace that I've never had before. One that by all logic, I shouldn't have. David had another surgery a little over 2 months ago. He has had nothing but complications and infections since then. He has been off work since then, yet somehow we haven't struggled financially. God has provided everything we need, in the exact moment we've needed it. In the middle of all of his health issues, I totaled my car last month. Roughly 3 weeks after we purchased a new truck for David because my car was soon to be paid off. In 20 years of marriage we have never had 2 car payments, yet somehow we're making it work... on one income. Mathematically it makes no sense. Logically it makes no sense. I just can't wrap my mind around all of the blessings we've received this year.
I know that these things haven't come to my family (peace, renewal, financial blessing...) because God has changed. Like he didn't just decide to start working on/with me. It's because I've changed. I have made the decision to go "all in" with my faith and take everything that comes with it. I have chosen to praise Him even when things are hard. I have chosen to look for the blessings, not focus on my circumstances. Keeping my eyes focused on Him and choosing to say "...and if not, He's still good" has been a game changer. I know that as long as I seek Him above all else and as long as I attempt to pursue Him like He pursues me, I've got this. He's got this.
This year has been one of change for my family. Madison turned 18 and graduated from high school. Our relationship is changing every day from a parent/child relationship to a parent-of-an-adult relationship. That's been quite a ride. Parenting adults is no joke, guys! It's not easy. You worry even more than you did when they were little, but you have no control over any of it. She and I are either the absolute best of friends, or I'm Satan himself sent to destroy her life. Carter competed in (and CRUSHED) his first World Kuk Sool Won tournament. He now towers over me and is in his last year of middle school. His voice is changing. His friends are changing. His interests are changing. Everything feels like it's changing. We traveled to St. Louis, Chicago and Galveston this year. We've made so many memories. Too many to list. I was able to spend some time with cousins from out of state who I see so rarely. What a blessing!
This year has most definitely had it's hardships too. I've written about some of them. Some of them are more personal. But what I've found is that I have a peace within me, even in these times. A peace that I've never had before. One that by all logic, I shouldn't have. David had another surgery a little over 2 months ago. He has had nothing but complications and infections since then. He has been off work since then, yet somehow we haven't struggled financially. God has provided everything we need, in the exact moment we've needed it. In the middle of all of his health issues, I totaled my car last month. Roughly 3 weeks after we purchased a new truck for David because my car was soon to be paid off. In 20 years of marriage we have never had 2 car payments, yet somehow we're making it work... on one income. Mathematically it makes no sense. Logically it makes no sense. I just can't wrap my mind around all of the blessings we've received this year.
I know that these things haven't come to my family (peace, renewal, financial blessing...) because God has changed. Like he didn't just decide to start working on/with me. It's because I've changed. I have made the decision to go "all in" with my faith and take everything that comes with it. I have chosen to praise Him even when things are hard. I have chosen to look for the blessings, not focus on my circumstances. Keeping my eyes focused on Him and choosing to say "...and if not, He's still good" has been a game changer. I know that as long as I seek Him above all else and as long as I attempt to pursue Him like He pursues me, I've got this. He's got this.
We did a new song this morning and it really spoke to me. Maybe you need to hear it too...
I count on one thing
The same God who never fails
Will not fail me now
You won't fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who's never late
Is working all things out
You're working all things out
Yes I will
Lift You high, in the lowest valley
Yes I will
Bless Your name
Yes I will
Sing for joy, when my heart is heavy
For all my days, oh yes I will
Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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