Be Still...

It's almost a new year. I think naturally we all kind of reflect on the past year. Reminisce about good memories. Curse the bad ones. I have found this past year to be one of renewal for me. Renewal of my mental and emotional health, the beginning stages of renewal of my physical health (this is a tough one for me, but I'm working on it), and most of all renewal of my faith and commitment to God. After searching for a church for over 5 years, I knew the first time I stepped foot into this one that it is where God has called me. I've also been called into my dream ministry of leading worship. Almost nothing makes me happier than using my voice to point people to Christ. There's no more beautiful sound than taking my earpiece out (which is a no-no, but sometimes I do it anyway) and hearing the congregation sing their hearts out too. When I do that, I can almost never hold back tears. It's so powerful. It's so beautiful. It's my favorite. Also being a part of t...

I'm strong. But I'm struggling. I don't like to admit that. I don't like to admit that I'm scared. I don't like to admit that my faith is lacking right now. I don't like to admit that I don't have everything under control, or that right now I feel like I have absolutely nothing under control. So here I am, being as vulnerable as I can be. Admitting it all. I hope that writing this will give me the peace and reassurance I so desperately need right now. I pray that it may also help someone else too. A few weeks ago I got the dreaded letter that the man who abused and tortured my mom for 10 years was granted parole. This week has been especially hard for me because he's being released in 2 days. I'm terrified. I'm angry. I feel very let down by the judicial system. I feel like all the therapy I went through in order to accept what happened and let go of the guilt I felt for not protecting my mom -- it all went out the window when I got that le...