Confessions of an inadequate mom...
Can we just talk about motherhood for a minute?
Some days I feel like I'm killing it. I have dinner in the crock pot first thing in the morning, my house is clean, I walk into Carter's bedroom and he's got his Bible open studying, I FaceTime Madison and she tells me about all the awesome things she's doing while away at school... and I just feel like I've got it all together. I'm really nailing this mom thing.
These days are few and far between.
Most days are more like this: I hit snooze on my alarm so many times that I don't even have time to dry my hair, I go to work, come home and try to figure out what I can feed my family for dinner, which almost always ends up being from a box or something frozen unless I pick up a pizza or a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store, I'm moody because I'm stressed out from work so I'm biting everyone's head off. Carter is mad at me because I come home yelling about him not finishing his chores. David doesn't want to be around me because I'm complaining about work, or no one taking the garbage out, or anything else that seems to be on my nerves at that moment. Madison calls me telling me how lonely she is and how much she just wants to come home... and I just feel like I am failing everyone at everything.
These are the majority of my days. I wonder almost every day if I'm completely screwing up everything. Do my kids even have a chance in this world, having ME for a mom? I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm completely winging it, figuring it out as I go. If I figure it out at all. I can remember so vividly Madison's first heartbreak. I never said the right thing. If she wanted to be alone, I was in her room trying to love on her. If she needed me to just hug her I left her alone. If she didn't want to talk about it, I was trying to get her to open up about her feelings. If she wanted to talk about it, I wasn't there. She actually said to me during one of my attempted pep talks "Mom, you're really not good at this." And while that normally would've hurt my feelings because I was trying so hard, I just agreed with her. I told her "I know I'm not. I don't know how to do this. Just like you're trying to figure out how to be a teenage girl, I'm trying to figure out how to be the mom of a teenage girl." I'm not always good at it. Sometimes I feel like I'm rarely good at it.
The thing about parenting is, you never know how you're doing until you see how your kids turn out. And then it's too late to do anything about. It's so unfair!
Moms... can I just encourage you right now? You. Are. Killing. It. You're amazing. If you had a natural birth at home or a hospital birth with all the drugs they'd give you, you're amazing. If you breastfed or bottle fed your babies, you're amazing. If you work outside the home or are a stay-at-home mom, you're amazing. If you homeschool your kids or send them to public school, you're amazing. If you have absolutely no idea what you're doing but you're trying, you're amazing. If you feel like you are completely failing as a mom because your kids ate cereal for dinner and you were too tired to argue about making them bathe before bed, you're amazing!
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's old he will not depart from it.
This is God's promise to us. But the honest truth for me is that I don't know if I'm doing that. I don't always set a good example. I slack on my devotions some days. I skip church sometimes because I just want to sleep in. Here's the thing though... I'm not in charge of my children's future. I'm not in charge of their salvation. I'm supposed to model Christian behavior and instill a Christian foundation in them, but on the days that I fail to do that... God takes over. They are His, not mine. He's got them in the palm of his hand. His plan for them is perfect, despite the fact that their mother is not. Whew! That's comforting! He shows me grace, even when I can't seem to give myself that same grace. I don't have to be perfect, because He is.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 My grace is sufficient. My strength is made perfect in your weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Some days I feel like I'm killing it. I have dinner in the crock pot first thing in the morning, my house is clean, I walk into Carter's bedroom and he's got his Bible open studying, I FaceTime Madison and she tells me about all the awesome things she's doing while away at school... and I just feel like I've got it all together. I'm really nailing this mom thing.
These days are few and far between.
Most days are more like this: I hit snooze on my alarm so many times that I don't even have time to dry my hair, I go to work, come home and try to figure out what I can feed my family for dinner, which almost always ends up being from a box or something frozen unless I pick up a pizza or a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store, I'm moody because I'm stressed out from work so I'm biting everyone's head off. Carter is mad at me because I come home yelling about him not finishing his chores. David doesn't want to be around me because I'm complaining about work, or no one taking the garbage out, or anything else that seems to be on my nerves at that moment. Madison calls me telling me how lonely she is and how much she just wants to come home... and I just feel like I am failing everyone at everything.
These are the majority of my days. I wonder almost every day if I'm completely screwing up everything. Do my kids even have a chance in this world, having ME for a mom? I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm completely winging it, figuring it out as I go. If I figure it out at all. I can remember so vividly Madison's first heartbreak. I never said the right thing. If she wanted to be alone, I was in her room trying to love on her. If she needed me to just hug her I left her alone. If she didn't want to talk about it, I was trying to get her to open up about her feelings. If she wanted to talk about it, I wasn't there. She actually said to me during one of my attempted pep talks "Mom, you're really not good at this." And while that normally would've hurt my feelings because I was trying so hard, I just agreed with her. I told her "I know I'm not. I don't know how to do this. Just like you're trying to figure out how to be a teenage girl, I'm trying to figure out how to be the mom of a teenage girl." I'm not always good at it. Sometimes I feel like I'm rarely good at it.
The thing about parenting is, you never know how you're doing until you see how your kids turn out. And then it's too late to do anything about. It's so unfair!
Moms... can I just encourage you right now? You. Are. Killing. It. You're amazing. If you had a natural birth at home or a hospital birth with all the drugs they'd give you, you're amazing. If you breastfed or bottle fed your babies, you're amazing. If you work outside the home or are a stay-at-home mom, you're amazing. If you homeschool your kids or send them to public school, you're amazing. If you have absolutely no idea what you're doing but you're trying, you're amazing. If you feel like you are completely failing as a mom because your kids ate cereal for dinner and you were too tired to argue about making them bathe before bed, you're amazing!
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's old he will not depart from it.
This is God's promise to us. But the honest truth for me is that I don't know if I'm doing that. I don't always set a good example. I slack on my devotions some days. I skip church sometimes because I just want to sleep in. Here's the thing though... I'm not in charge of my children's future. I'm not in charge of their salvation. I'm supposed to model Christian behavior and instill a Christian foundation in them, but on the days that I fail to do that... God takes over. They are His, not mine. He's got them in the palm of his hand. His plan for them is perfect, despite the fact that their mother is not. Whew! That's comforting! He shows me grace, even when I can't seem to give myself that same grace. I don't have to be perfect, because He is.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 My grace is sufficient. My strength is made perfect in your weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Behind every amazing child
is a mom who's pretty sure
she's screwing it all up.
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